Hello everybody, welcome back.  Hope everyone's football weekend was magically delicious.  It was quite the peculiar week 7 of the NFL.  We all knew about the memo to players about helmet-to-helmet hits and player safety.  The public, however, was never told about the memo that defense would be optional for week 7..

An astonishing nine teams scored 28 points or more this past weekend.  Three of them were Kansas City, Oakland, and....Buffalo?  It shows what kind of luck the Bills have, though.  They put up 34 on the vaunted Ravens defense (who held the Jets to 9 on opening weekend) and still walk away from the game at 0-6.  On the back of Matt Moore, Carolina was able to upend the 49ers, leaving Buffalo as the only winless team in the NFL. 

The two primetime games didn't let down anybody, either.  Brett Favre put on an all-time classic in football hilarity on Sunday night.  Beautiful pass here, overthrow a guy 40 yards there...and then bury a pass into a defender's chest for the coup de grace.  Aaron Rodgers wasn't exactly Superman on the other side of the ball, but he did barely enough to keep Green Bay on pace in the division and enough to throw just a little more dirt on the grave of the 2010 Vikings.

The Montauk BeverageWorks Delicious Performance of the Week:
Whoa. Whooooooooa.  How the hell do we choose one of these?  With all the offense in week 7, we got a season's worth of delicious performances.  Carson Palmer and Ryan Fitzpatrick threw for wacko numbers fantasy-wise, but their team lost the game...Kenny Britt and Roddy White had 426 yards receiving and five touchdowns between the two of them...DeAngelo Hall had four interceptions, one brought back to the house...Big round David Bowens had two interceptions for touchdowns off Drew Brees...Reggie Hodges (A PUNTER) is a strong contender--but he'll get his props in just a moment.  But we're going to give the week 7 honor to Darren McFadden, Raiders.  I think this is what Oakland envisioned when they took Run DMC in the top-10 of the draft a few years ago.  165 yards and three touchdowns in the running game.  31 yards and another score in the passing game.  A true jack-of-all-trades in the most berserk score of week 7: Oakland 59, Denver 14.  Ouch.

The Favorite Flop of the Week:
New Orleans Saints.  While the Montauk Bev superstar may have been tough to choose, this one was as easy as it gets.  Defending champions.  At home.  Playing a 1-5 team with a rookie quarterback.  it was unfathomable they could lose this game.  But then again, Drew Brees throwing four picks in a single game was thought to be unfathomable, too.  Cleveland's defense played inspired, and Eric Mangini's call for a fake punt was just fantastic.  You can see the play here.  Bonus points for Hodges for the comedic value of the play.  He seemed to be so terrified of getting hit/fumbling and ruining the play of his career.  The last 40 yard of the run, he is looking everywhere but straight ahead as he tries to see any potential tacklers coming.  A huge boost of a win for Cleveland, and a horrific plunge for the Saints.  Atlanta must have taken some real joy watching that game, and the NFC South division is definitely theirs for the taking.

The Underdog Uprising of the Week: 
Carolina Panthers.  Buffalo deserves some love for making it a close game with Baltimore.  But the Panthers won't have much to celebrate this season, so we will give them their due.  The rushing attack for Carolina continues to be incomprehensively bad, but they did enough against San Fran...whatever that's worth.  Congrats to Matt Moore and David Gettis for their hard work and dedication in winning this award.

• That Giants/Cowboys game was absurd.  Most importantly, Big Blue won by six points.  And they did it after trailing 20-7.  but the underlying stats are staggering.  Dallas gained 250 yards to New York's 500.  Dallas played with its backup quarterback for much of the game.  Dallas was 0-10 on third downs.  New York had the time of possession in their favor by 15 minutes (an entire quarter.)  The Giants defense played capably, and probably wanted to give Eli/the receivers a little smack in the first quarter there.  The Giants were able to destroy the Cowboys and spring to the top of their division...but they certainly have some fine-tuning to do before being classified the elite of the NFC.  The game's stats look more like a 41-20 game rather than 41-35.
• The Chargers are so bad.  Pardon the dull narrative, but they are just so, so, so, so bad.  With the exception of Dallas, they do less with more than anybody in the NFL.  San Diego could have won that game by 10 if they had played anything better than a high school level in the first half.  Unfortunately, that's asking a bit too much.  Egregious mistakes, nonchalant offensive play, and poor coaching doomed them yet again.  They finally decided to play somewhat-close to their potential in the fourth quarter, but it was just a tad too little, way way way too late. 
• I definitely appreciate it as a Jets fan, but there's little doubt that Miami got hosed.  That being said, don't look to me as to how to fix it.  Once the touchdown signal goes up, there's no reason for any Pittsburgh player to jump into that pile for the ball.  That's their celebration time.  The fact that Roethlisberger immediately went for the loose ball indicated that he knew he didn't cross before losing the ball.  But Miami really can't cry too much over this one.  The Steelers had the ball inside the five yard line, down by 2.  A field goal had been a given the whole time.  The fumble was more a result of Big Ben being a dope and nearly choking it away.  The Steeelers did enough to win that game, though. 
• Don't look now, but Seattle is on their way.  Divisional wins are going to be what separates the NFC West, and 4-2 is a great place to be.  After his unexpected South Park cameo, Matt Hasselbeck is turning back the clock and has found a best friend in receiver Mike Williams.

Well that's all from me on week 7.  Hope everyone has a great week watching the World Series.

(Unless you're a Cablevision subscriber.  Then I guess you can go knit or something...)