Jet fans, be excited. It's week 17, and all your team has to do is beat a Cincinnati Bengals team that has nothing to play for, at home, tonight. And yes, that means the Jets have absolutely no excuses not to get into the playoffs, which probably just made any Jet fan reading this squirm a little bit in their chair.


The Situation: Jets win, they're in.

Before I jump into the games, I'm curious as to what Jet fans think of the alcohol ban at the game tonight (8:20 kick). The Jets are banning booze tonight, and by banning booze they think people will be less drunk and pay more attention to the game instead of fighting each other, which would be true if not for reality.

This is a lovely idea in theory, but with a full day to tailgate and get mindblowingly drunk, I think this will only make things worse. People will just have an extra few shots outside the stadium, black out during the first quarter, wake up and throw crap at the nearest Bengal fan in the 2nd quarter, regain basic motor skills during halftime and the 3rd quarter, and, if the Jets are losing in the 4th quarter, kill the nearest Bengal fan.

Plus, how easy is it to sneak in drinks at these games? Even with added security tonight, you can just put your flask in your private areas, and if security goes there, sue for sexual harassment. It's also going to be freezing cold, and if you wear three coats, put the flask in the first one. Even the most wasted of fans can figure this out. My friend easily snuck in a flask of cognac at the Giants-Eagles game a few weeks ago, also a key Sunday night game.

I don't support this, but it's going to happen, and everyone knows it.

If people want to do something, they'll do it. I get the Jets' idea; in fact, I think it's pretty admirable that they're willing to suck up a significant loss in revenue to try and keep things safe tonight. But it's not going to work.

Finally, um, how exactly are the Jets paying for a new stadium without revenue from making 850% overs on each beer fans would've bought tonight, combined with the fact they're still struggling to sell seats to the new stadium next year?

My over-under on additional Jet fans collapsing, dying or going to the hospital outside of Giants Stadium due to the alcohol ban at the stadium tonight:
84

As far as New York football goes, Jets-Bengals is all anyone cares about this week. I doubt many Giants fans will watch their team limp off into the sunset today against Minnesota. And if the Jets don't win this week, there is no scenario where they can get make the playoffs. So there's just one game in town tonight, meaning many of you will probably scroll down thto the bottom of the page where I have the Jets pick.

I'm splitting the games up into brackets according to level of interest this week. Enjoy the games, and if you're going to the Jet game tonight, please count the amount of face-down middle aged men you see in the tunnel on the walk in.

Favorites are italicized, and I'm picking against the spread, as always.

The you-don't-care-about-these-games bracket:

Indianapolis at Buffalo (-8), 1:00

All I can expect from this game are plenty of close-ups of a pissed off Peyton Manning.

Buffalo 24, Indy 20

Chicago (-3) at Detroit, 1:00 

A game so unappealing I'm not going to bother to offer any form of analysis.

Chicago 24, Detroit 10

San Francisco (-7.5) at St. Louis, 1:00

A promising season for the Niners gone down the crapper ends today. Even worse, San Fran fans have to be up at 10 AM to catch this game. Not happening.

SF 27, St. Louis 9

Atlanta (-2) at Tampa Bay, 1:00

Tampa coach Raheem Morris said this week rookie QB Josh Freeman has Hall-of-Fame potential, despite a dismal 55.2% completion rate and 16 interceptions in nine games this season. Rex Ryan would say the same thing about Mark Sanchez if he wouldn't be called a total moron by the media.

Tampa Bay 17, Atlanta 14

Washington at San Diego (-3), 4:15

Do I need to say it again? San Diego never lets up. They'll cream Washington.

San Diego 34, Washington 17

Tennessee (-6) at Seattle, 4:15

Tennessee has lost just twice since Vince Young came back as QB; to San Diego and Indianapolis. I'm surprised Tennesse is only favored by 6.

Tennessee 28, Seattle 14

The games-with-some-importance bracket:

New Orleans at Carolina (-7), 1:00

New Orleans is keeping Drew Brees out of this one, but I'm curious to see if the Saints can bounce back from a crappy couple of games and go into the playoffs with a smidge of momentum. Also, is new Panthers QB Matt Moore for real?

Carolina 27, New Orleans 17

Jacksonville at Cleveland (-1), 1:00

Jacksonville still has a shot at the playoffs. And by shot, they need four teams to lose Sunday on top of beating Cleveland. This could be coach Eric Mangini's final game pacing the sidelines and offering irritantingly vague injury and player reports for the Browns.

Jacksonville 20, Cleveland 17

Philadelphia at Dallas (-3), 4:15

Both teams are hot, and this is easily the most interesting game of the week. I'm a believer in Dallas; I think Romo's got it working right now, and with a 100,000+ home crowd plus Jerry Jones jumping up and down hugging his wife in a booth, the Cowboys get a solid victory at home.

Dallas 24, Philadelphia 17

New England at Houston (-7), 1:00

Probably the second most interesting game of the week, especially for Jet fans, since this is the only game with even the remotest of possibilities of affecting their game tonight. If New England wins, they clinch the 3 seed, and if they lose, Cincy can get that 3 seed with a win tonight. It probably doesn't matter very much, but Jet fans may want to see New England lock up the 3 seed and give Cincinnati absolutely nothing to play for tonight.

I pick the 'upset' here, though Matt Schaub is really starting to make a name for himself with his great play down the stretch for the Texans.

New England 24, Houston 21

Pittsburgh (-3) at Miami, 1:00

Mike Tomlin's unleashing of hell plan got delayed in Cleveland and Oakland, but the Steelers have a chance now, and with a little luck Sunday (they need Houston and Baltimore lose), they sneak into the postseason and present a dangerous first-round matchup for the Pats or Bengals. Miami has looked abysmal the past few weeks, and I kept picking them. Pittsburgh blows out Miami.

Pittsburgh 31, Miami 20

Giants at Minnesota (-8), 1:00

I like the Giants in this one. Minnesota is in complete disarray; they can't stop the run (Ahmad Bradshaw- start him if you have him in fantasy) and their offensive line can't create a hole for Adrian Peterson. It'll be an aerial game, and I love the way Eli's played the last few games. Eli>Favre.

Giants 27, Minnesota 24

Green Bay at Arizona (-3), 4:15

The Packers have been a sneaky little team all season long; little hype, little fanfare, but they're getting the job done. Arizona's been up and down, but being at home should even this game out. I've liked Aaron Rodgers' play the past few weeks, and I think he helps Green Bay squeak by.

Green Bay 20, Arizona 17

Kansas City at Denver (-10), 4:15

I don't know what to think anymore. It looks like Brandon Marshall's Bronco career is done, and Eddie Royal (injury) and Tony Scheffler (bad attitude) are out as well for this one. Denver could easily blow this, but Kansas City is probably the most favorable opponent for the Broncos in their bleak situation.

Denver 17, KC 10

Baltimore (-10.5) at Oakland, 4:15

Oakland has come out of nowhere to beat Pittsburgh and Denver this month, but don't let them fool you, they still really suck. Todd Heap's improved play and Baltimore's mediocre defense should easily get the job done against Oakland.

Baltimore 23, Oakland 16

The only-game-any-of-you-care-about bracket:

Cincinnati at New York Jets (-9.5), 8:20

I'm still debating this one a bit. I'm still unconvinced about Mark Sanchez in cold weather, especially in what's going to be a bitterly windy night with temperatures in the 20s in the Meadowlands. I'm not convinced the Jets' defense won't collapse if the game comes down to the wire. I'm not convinced that Brad Smith can run back another kickoff and fire up the Jets' offense again.

But, it's a Bengals team that has nothing to play for. And the Jets are a pretty good team with everything to play for, which for me, makes the difference and puts the Jets back in the playoffs.

Jets 17, Bengals 14

So my picks put the Jets and Baltimore in as the final two teams in the AFC, and the Jets would play New England and Baltimore would play Cincinnati next weekend in the AFC. Enjoy the games everybody!