Get your Christmas picks!

For Christmas this year, like last year, I asked for just one thing from the sports world: Brett Favre-free SportsCenters and commercial breaks. After seeing Brett throw a pass in a pair of Wranglers this morning, I'm clearly overly idealistic. Maybe I jinxed everyone else asking for the same thing for Christmas because I'm Jewish (kinda hard to split a wish up into eight nights for Hannukah). So, let me re-state my position, on behalf of the billions of us who believe in only one God.

Dear God,

Stop Brett Favre being on our televisions. Please. Oh, world peace too, if you get a shot.

Thanks,
Monotheism

I hate you. And nobody will ever intentionally play touch football in jeans.
Who the hell plays pickup football in jeans?

I don't know about you, but I was so emotionally scarred from the whole Brett Favre to the Jets television coverage in the summer of 2008 that I seriously contemplated not watching SportsCenter ever again. And as an out-of-town sports fan, that's sports suicide. ESPN eventually caved into the wishes of its audience by laying off the Favre stuff somewhat, but they still love the dude. I still don't get it. Favre led SportsCenter again this week as he fought with Vikings coach Brad Childress about the running of the Vikings' offense. Does anyone this side of St. Paul, Minnesota care? 

This brings me to my next point. Does anybody else notice that the Brett Favre wrangler jeans commercial is following the Chevrolet "This is our country" we-will-make-you-watch-us-all-day commercial model? I haven't done a count yet (it's coming), but I'm going to estimate that the Favre Wrangler commercial, which also features a dog in Brett's lap while he drives, is on two-thirds of NFL in-game commercial breaks. 

So what exactly are these media executives thinking? Do they really think that people are going to buy a pair of jeans because Brett Favre, the guy who couldn't decide whether or not to retire over a 2 1/2 year period, does? Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm compleely missing something, but I'm pretty sure Wrangler has managed to piss off 86% of its viewing audience, and if they keep playing that commercial at the same rate, it'll be 95% by the Super Bowl. I ask you, Wrangler, for the sake of your lovely denim products, to find a new sponsor.

Personally, I'd love to see the new Wrangler commercials featuring Tiger Woods courting his mistresses while wearing comfortable, denim jeans. Tiger just lost all his sponsors and most people fervently hate Wrangler's. Sears rewarded Favre with a commercial for his incredibly annoying saga, why can't Tiger get a shot? Let's really prove we're the land of second chances!

Ok, now that that's off my chest. I will, as I do weekly, choose the best six games of the week, including the two local teams, and pick them against the spread and talk about them a bit. Football eyes will be on the AFC Wild Card race, where eight (yes, 8) teams, including the Jets, are within a game of each other for the final two playoff spots. Merry Christmas everybody!

Saturday
San Diego at Tennessee (-3), 7:30

Vegas thinks that San Diego, with the AFC West all wrapped up and nothing to play for, will let up. But if you know anything about Phil Rivers and his often annoying overcompetitiveness, it's hard to imagine the Chargers playing anything less than 100%. Vincent Jackson is one of the least talked about elite NFL receivers, Antonio Gates is as good a receiving tight end as any, and their pass rush is dynamite thanks to linebackers Shaun Phillips and Shawne Merriman (combined 11 sacks).

Still, I think everyone is hopping aboard the Chargers' bandwagon a little too much right now; yes, they're playing very well and beating good teams, but LaDanian Tomlinson really has lost a step (he couldn't turn a corner with a Honda Civic), and their pass defense is suspect (they gave up over 300 yards in the air to Cincy last week).

But, I think giving Tennessee 3 points here is a little much; San Diego will show and they will win. Vince Young should have a monster game though- great fantasy option for those of you lucky enough to be in your fantasy league playoffs.

San Diego 24, Tennessee 17

Sunday
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-2.5), 1:00

Mike Tomlin infamously said back in Week 12 after his Steelers lost to the Ravens that they "would unleash hell in December". They went on to lose to Oakland and Cleveland (combined 8-20 record), making Tomlin look like a huge moron. But they won last week in dramatic fashion over Green Bay, and, at 7-7, they're still in the playoff hunt, if only by the skin of their teeth.

Baltimore is 8-6, and with a win, they would be all but through to the playoffs. Their defense has long been overrated, and the team now belongs to Joe Flacco and local boy Ray Rice. I like Flacco; he doesn't make too many mistakes (11 interceptions to 19 touchdowns this year) and he's made the best of a very mediocre receiving corps (their starters are currently Demetrius Williams, with a grand total of 7 receptions this season, and Mark Clayton, a pedestrian receiver who's been hurt the past few weeks) by throwing plenty of balls to Todd Heap (49 receptions).

Pittsburgh's trademark defensive Steel curtain has turned into 100% cotton. They won last week, but they also let Green Bay score 36, and they've now given up 20 or more points in four of their past five games. 

It's a matchup of two even teams in absolute must-win mode. I think Pittsburgh wins, but I'll give Baltimore the points. But let this blog put on record that Mike Tomlin is no Tim Tebow.

Pittsburgh 28, Baltimore 27


Carolina at New York Giants (-7), 1:00

Man, were the G-men impressive Monday. I thought Washington would keep it tight at the very least, but the Giants went to DC ready to make a statement, and they did. The way they methodically drove down the field against Washington on the first drive, you knew the outcome before the game had even really started. The Giants offense is clicking, and the defense finally decided to show up as well. 

Now, the much-maligned Giants pass defense goes up against Matt Moore, Jake Delhomme's backup, after Delhomme got put on injured reserved. Not to jinx it, but Moore can't be that good of a backup if he can't  challenge a 35-year-old with 18 interceptions and a 59.4 QB rating until he gets injured.

I've never seen Eli and the offense look better than they do right now (it's the defense that's been sucking all year), and this is a favorable matchup for New York at home. Giants should win this one comfortably, and cover with ease.

New York 31, Carolina 20


Houston at Miami (-3), 1:00

The All-Humidity Bowl. Houston and Miami are two of the teams in the 7-7 AFC wolf pack. Houston is up and down, depending on their inconsistent offense. Miami is too, but they're probably the better all-around team. I give Miami the points at home, but it will be close. Miami lives another day!

Miami 14, Houston 10


Denver at Philadelphia (-7), 4:15

Matchup of the week here, with a desperate Broncos team looking to cling to the final Wild Card slot on Sunday in the Land of the Cheesesteaks. I really thought about going to this game, but I have to work. And just so you know, obnoxious and horrible Eagles fans, this video makes me only want to go to the game even more and wear even more Broncos stuff. You don't scare me. And yes, you are America's most hated sports city.

Let me just say off the bat that even though a lot has been made of them, I don't buy Denver's defense. They're statistically great, but they tend to choke in key points (like another local team, perhaps?). They let JaMarcus bleeping Russell drive down the field on them last week and two weeks ago they held Peyton Manning for the most of the game, but at the end, when it mattered most, Peyton led the Colts on a game-clinching drive.

Denver's defense is good and will keep you in games, but they won't win them for you. And that means the offense has to win you games. And when Kyle Orton is the quarterback of that offense and your starting running back is a rookie, don't expect them to single-handedly win you games, either. Orton is the same as the defense: he'll keep you in games, but he won't win them for you. The Broncos simply don't have that game-changing guy at a key position or a lean-on-me defense that could make them an elite team.

On the otherhand, Philadelphia is playing great in every facet of the game, with McNabb, (seriously, how do Philly fans hate this guy?) for the first time in his career, having a legit go-to receiver (DeSean Jackson) who he doesn't want to kill (Terrell Owens). I think Philly squeaks this one out with Brian Westbrook back, but -7 is a lot of points for a team that's already beaten Philly's main division rivals (Dallas and the Giants). Give Denver the points and Philly the game.

Philadelphia 24, Denver 21


New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts (-5.5), 4:15

I really don't know what to make of this game. And I think a lot of people, including Vegas (this line has been shifting around a lot this week) are having trouble deciding, too.

The Colts are going to be missing defensive stalwarts Robert Mathis and Dwight Freeney and Peyton Manning probably won't go the full game. Indy could play the coaching staff and some first row fans the next two Sundays and still be the #1 seed. I think Indianapolis will ease up considerably on Sunday and give the Jets a chance.

I'm just having a lot of trouble giving the Jets the win here. I really don't see it- they lack the go-to person or defense, like the Broncos. You really think Mark Sanchez is going to win you a crucial road game the way he's played? Remember, think negative, Jet fans. Give the airplanes the points and Indy the win.

Indianapoils 21, New York 17


Also:

Seattle at Green Bay (-14), 1:00- Green Bay 42, Seattle 13

Oakland at Cleveland (-3), 1:00- Oakland 35, Cleveland 32

Kansas City at Cincinnati (-13.5), 1:00- Cincinnati 27, Kansas City 17

Buffalo at Atlanta (-9), 1:00- Buffalo 17, Atlanta 14

Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-14), 1:00- New Orleans 45, Tampa Bay 10

Jacksonville at New England (-7.5), 1:00- New England 27, Jacksonville 16

St. Louis at Arizona (-14), 4:05- Arizona 41, St. Louis 6

Detroit at San Francisco (-13), 4:05- San Francisco 28, Detroit 20

Dallas (-7) at Washington, 8:20 Monday- Dallas 31, Washington 13

Boy, for week 16, there are a lot of games that nobody cares about. Also, every home team except for the Redskins (hosting Dallas) is favored this week. Enjoy the week sports fans!

 

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