Big Apple Big-Mouths: Making a List, Checkin' It Twice

Making a List, Checkin' It Twice

Hello there again, and welcome to a special holiday edition of the blog. With Christmas just around the corner, I'm going to make every New York fan's wish come true. For a holiday/end of the year tribute, I have prepared Santa's naughty and nice lists for 2009. This won't have a personal touch to it...I did not discriminate according to my favorite teams. It's all about New York. Those that made big contributions to their teams get the esteemed honor of the nice list. But for those that were a either a detriment, a NY team-killer, or acted anything like Jay Cutler without his mid-afternoon juicebox: there's no getting off this naughty list. At least until 2010. So without further ado, here we go.

Now Beltran! Now Jeter! Now Rex Ryan's Sass!
On Manning! On Sanchez! On Kate Hudson's Ass!
On Rudolph!

SANTA'S NICE LIST FOR 2009

The New York Yankees' Limitless Checkbook
Come on, you didn't really think I would be unbiased, did you? But in all seriousness, this is my way of saying the Yanks' front office made all the right moves in 2009. It was expensive, but they had the perfect mix of veteran leaders and eager, talented youngsters. Cashman & Co. gave New York the baseball parade it's waited nine years for. It puts them on the nice list. But please Santa, they don't need any more gifts.

Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera
The leaders of the bunch. Yes, I realize that the Yankees sold the public on the whole 'core four' thing (Jeter, Mo, Posada, and Petitte.) Balderdash. Petitte left town for three years to solidify his bank account before returning. And even though I know I'm not near that locker room (or any locker room) you will never, ever convince me that a guy like Posada can lead a team. Never. Jeter and Rivera went about their business, maintained 'at-their-prime' levels of play, and brought the title back to Gotham.

The Buffalo Bisons
Who, you ask? The minor-league affiliate of the New York Mets. When 96% of the Mets started were injured throughout 2009, the Bisons were generous in giving them all the sub-major league talent they needed to call up. So thanks to the Bisons for allowing the Mets not to forfeit all of their games. Losing them conventionally was much, much better.

Jason Bay (Tentative)
Listen to reason, Jason. The Mets need you. Based on the relative-lack of outside interest, you need the Mets. If nothing else, it will put you on this list. Isn't that enough?

Mark Sanchez (April through September Version)
You were a lock for this list from the start, Sanchize. When the Jets traded up and drafted you top-5, this city was yours. Your jerseys sold, people forgot about Brett Favre, and the Jets were pretty cool again. Regrettably though, we will revisit you later on.

Darrelle Revis
I'm going to encompass Rex Ryan and the rest of the defense all into this one. But Revis deserves it. I won't bombard you with praise for him. You've heard all the already. But seeing him play every Sunday is just something the numbers couldn't describe. Besides maybe Mike Piazza in his prime, I've never seen a player for one of 'my teams' that is this good at what he does.

Steve Smith
The only Giants player on the list. Yes, Eli is having one of his best years yet. But it wouldn't have been possible without this guy. In a year when many (including me) saw wide receiver as the downfall of the '09 Giants, Smith has been a monster from the start and promptly made me look like a bufoon.

John Tavares and Marion Gaborik
We'll squeeze hockey into one. These two have been the '09 posterboys of New York hockey. Tavares has been all-that-and-more for the Islanders, as he is on his way to easily winning Rookie of the Year. Gaborik has been the primary source of offense for the Rangers all year. Heck, he's been their only source for most of the season.

The New Jersey Nets
With their record-breaking futility, New Jersey's finest has made the Knicks far-and-away the best basketball in town (not including the Globetrotters.) But the Knicks will get through not caring about this season while hiding behind New Jersey's losing shadow. Santa appreciates this.

SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST FOR 2009

Mother Nature
Sorry ma'am, I gotta put you numero uno. Look what you did to my baseball year! Sports Illustrated picked my Mets to win it all! What happened? Well, you somehow gave all of their core players the same durability as a BlackBerry in the Dead Sea. Not only that...look at the new ballparks' structure. By some atmospheric/windy phenomena, the Yankees hit a home run on every pop-up that clears the second baseman. Meanwhile, the Mets pretty much have to smack one all the way to the Bronx to clear the fence at Citi Field. These new ballparks will someday create a scale for fantasy baseball. Each homer at the new Yankee Stadium is 0.6 'real homers.' Each dinger at Citi will be worth 7 real 'homers.' Just watch.

Omar Minaya (Tentative)
No, I'm not a Mets fan that wants the whole team blown up. Listening to talk radio these days, you would think that Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes had the baseball ability of Carlos Mencia and Jose Cuervo. This naughty-nod is mostly for the whole "call out someone in the media as being too harsh because you're convinced they want a job with the team" situation that Omar pulled this year. Sure, acquiring Jason Bay and a serviceable pitcher next week can get him off this list at 2009's buzzer. But the clock's ticking.

Mark Sanchez (October through Christmas Version-Tentative)
As Chris 'Maddog' Russo would say, "I'm not gonna kill ya here, Mark. Can't kill 'em." You're a rookie, buddy. I know that. If last year's fluky year of rookies Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco never happened, you'd be just fine right now. But dude. Number one running game, number one defense. The Jets probably be 9-5 right now if they had D-minus quarterback play. But you know all of this. The same thing that went for Omar applies to you. If the Jets aren't mathematically eliminated after this week, consider yourself absolved.

Antonio Pierce and Osi Umenyiora
Sorry guys, the whole burden falls on you two. The burden I speak of is the complete and utter collapse of the once-dominant Giants defense. Yes, Kenny Phillips got hurt. Yes, Justin Tuck plays hurt every week. But going into this season, the words Big Blue were synonomous with ferocious, terrifying defense. Now anyone can throw on them. Unless they run this play.

Brett Favre
Thanks to his verbal spat with the Minnesota coaches, we now can proclaim that everyone universally agrees with this. I'm not here to bury the guy, but his part with the Jets was just so weak. Telling the Jets he's surely retired for good only to move on to the team he wanted all along. Listen, Green Bay, I know his antics sucked for you guys at the end of it. But the Jets were just plain used. My team was nothing but a mean to justify an end. And that was one mean mean, Brett.

Opponents of Long Island's Lighthouse Project
Many of you won't know what this is. I wouldn't expect you to. In short, the only thing that would keep the New York Islanders from moving away and becoming the Kansas City...Mainlanders? Among other things, it's a much-needed new arena for the Isles that would rejuvenate interest and lure some free agents to actually come over. Many protest this for assorted reasons (environmental, economic, etc.) And Santa hates them for it.

The New Jersey Nets
I'm sorry, but it was 18 losses to start a season. Santa's gotta draw a fine line between sympathy and anger. 2010 couldn't come fast enough for these fellas.

Well there you have it. One man's opinions for 2009's naughty and nice for New York sports. Please, if you have your own or feel I missed any, comments are always welcome and appreciated. Here's wishing all of you a great holiday season. Come back on the weekend for some (hopefully improved) NFL picks!